The Joy of Motherhood.

https://youtu.be/fE8Z2QZs0xc

The above link is from my little dastard, he left me a beautiful message and posted this on my Facebook page.  Just when you think you’ve never done anything right…they surprise you with love and effort.

I do now believe the pod has left, and my little imp is back.  The child I know and love with all of my heart. As a mother your heart breaks again and again with any hurt they feel, or inflict.  But to see them grow up and succeed in life, swells your heart with pride. I’m one proud mother.

I wonder, if we knew all the heartache that came with parenting would we do it?  I know I would, but then again, I’ve always been a glutton for punishment. So, maybe I’m not the person to answer this question.

I know this is a serious and short blog post, however… sometimes duty calls.

Mommy’s Little Darling…

Ah… my “little” dastard.  What can I say about my beautiful pod?  What can’t I say about my pod.  I believe I will start with tread carefully when they are sweet beautiful babies.  YOU ARE IN DANGEROUS GROUND!  You want a bad little child… pray for it.  I know this to be factual, all of my friends that had sweet babies, now have pods.  All of my friends with screaming, throwing themselves on the floor, tantrum children have “young adults” now.  The pod left before they became big enough to swear.

They say the end of the world is coming today, and I can’t help but wonder… am I going to get a bedazzled golden crown?  I think I deserve one, I mean I’ve managed not to kill the pod for going on 7 years now.  I should get a nice golden sceptre, a mansion, and a nanny.  Because, let’s face it the pod will always need tending to.  I’ve prayed for this since the age of 13(his not mine).  However, it never happens.  They say it like every couple of years, and still here we are.

Now, I’m sure you are thinking to yourselves, how could she talk about her child like that?  Well, because I’ve lived with him for his entire little life.  He went from angel to devil in the period of 19 years.  Although, I joke all the time and the truth of the matter is no matter how homicidal my pod makes me feel at times… would I trade him?  Never!!!  Not only has he given me character, strength, endurance, patience, and grey hair, but he is learning all of those things too.  I was a terrorist when I was a teenager, or so my mother says.  I don’t believe it(Hehe).  So, all jokes aside, my pod is my baby.  He will always be mommy’s little dastard.  There will never come a day when I wouldn’t lay down and die for him and I’m sure there will never come a month that I won’t want to kill him at least once.  I wouldn’t trade that for a million bucks.

But readers beware… underneath the beautiful smiles of your 10 month old to your 10-year-old, there is a pod waiting to emerge.  So, brace yourselves, it will be a bumpy ride… actually it will be more like rafting off of Niagara Falls.  Happy trails to you, from me and mommy’s little darling;-)

The Face that Launched a Thousand Grey Hairs….

                                                                                  

This is the same face I’ve seen since he was 3 years old.   People say that when your kids grow up and go off to college, you are then faced with the challenge of learning how to deal with your baby being, “All grown up”.  The empty nest syndrome.  Ha!

I’m here to tell you… it’s propaganda!!!  Not true, not true in the least.  They never “fly” away.  My son came over last week, he wanted some money for “groceries”.  Umm humm… Anyway, I told him that he had been given his allowance for the month and that it was his responsibility to budget those funds.  I launched into the financial responsibility lecture(that I have repeated at least 150 times).  I promptly received the upper left look.  When he whined, “But mom, stuff is more expensive than I thought.  I don’t get enough money for the month.”  I told him, “Sorry kid, things are tough all over.  Hey, is that a new shirt?”  Next thing I know… we have the bottom right picture.  To which I responded, “Last time I went to the bathroom… it was funny, no money came out!  Rub a lamp child, you aren’t gettin’ any money!!”

So my friends… 19 months or 19 years, these faces never change.  Get used to them.  All I need to do is put facial hair and tattoos on these, and there you have it, the perpetual tantrum face.

Come on… be honest, you gave your mom this face at least once this year too!

This is why Clairol invented hair color for grey hair, and they sell the hell out of it!

Welcome to my World….

This is my first post to let you peak into the world of a Tainted Super Mom!   Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Self, why does this woman think she is a Super Mom?  What the hell does she think makes her so special?”  Don’t worry dear readers, I am not a narcissistic, self aggrandizing, irreparably delusional human being.  It is actually a name given to me by a lovely couple… who have no idea what a lunatic I actually am.  I am afraid however, that now that I have this blog, they might suspect it.

Welcome, I’m glad you’re here!   Oh, and by the way…. you can never leave!!!!   Muuuaaahhhh!  My son always protects his mommy.  🙂