The Joy of Motherhood.

https://youtu.be/fE8Z2QZs0xc

The above link is from my little dastard, he left me a beautiful message and posted this on my Facebook page.  Just when you think you’ve never done anything right…they surprise you with love and effort.

I do now believe the pod has left, and my little imp is back.  The child I know and love with all of my heart. As a mother your heart breaks again and again with any hurt they feel, or inflict.  But to see them grow up and succeed in life, swells your heart with pride. I’m one proud mother.

I wonder, if we knew all the heartache that came with parenting would we do it?  I know I would, but then again, I’ve always been a glutton for punishment. So, maybe I’m not the person to answer this question.

I know this is a serious and short blog post, however… sometimes duty calls.

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Mommy’s Little Darling…

Ah… my “little” dastard.  What can I say about my beautiful pod?  What can’t I say about my pod.  I believe I will start with tread carefully when they are sweet beautiful babies.  YOU ARE IN DANGEROUS GROUND!  You want a bad little child… pray for it.  I know this to be factual, all of my friends that had sweet babies, now have pods.  All of my friends with screaming, throwing themselves on the floor, tantrum children have “young adults” now.  The pod left before they became big enough to swear.

They say the end of the world is coming today, and I can’t help but wonder… am I going to get a bedazzled golden crown?  I think I deserve one, I mean I’ve managed not to kill the pod for going on 7 years now.  I should get a nice golden sceptre, a mansion, and a nanny.  Because, let’s face it the pod will always need tending to.  I’ve prayed for this since the age of 13(his not mine).  However, it never happens.  They say it like every couple of years, and still here we are.

Now, I’m sure you are thinking to yourselves, how could she talk about her child like that?  Well, because I’ve lived with him for his entire little life.  He went from angel to devil in the period of 19 years.  Although, I joke all the time and the truth of the matter is no matter how homicidal my pod makes me feel at times… would I trade him?  Never!!!  Not only has he given me character, strength, endurance, patience, and grey hair, but he is learning all of those things too.  I was a terrorist when I was a teenager, or so my mother says.  I don’t believe it(Hehe).  So, all jokes aside, my pod is my baby.  He will always be mommy’s little dastard.  There will never come a day when I wouldn’t lay down and die for him and I’m sure there will never come a month that I won’t want to kill him at least once.  I wouldn’t trade that for a million bucks.

But readers beware… underneath the beautiful smiles of your 10 month old to your 10-year-old, there is a pod waiting to emerge.  So, brace yourselves, it will be a bumpy ride… actually it will be more like rafting off of Niagara Falls.  Happy trails to you, from me and mommy’s little darling;-)

Where o’ where has my little mind gone?

I lie awake and wonder… what has happened to my black flip flops?  Didn’t I used to know things like that?  I could find little dastard’s ear buds for his iPod in a 2 story 9 room house(not bedrooms, just 9 rooms).  I had that mom x-ray vision or at least the ability to remember where he would go in the house and say, “Hang on a minute and I’ll find them.” Bada Boom Bada Bang… ear buds!

I truly believe that my child has sucked out my brain juice… when the pod person entered his body, I think it’s little tentacles stretch out of his ear during the night and into my ear to feed.  I wouldn’t know, the child always falls asleep with his T.V. on so there is always noise.  Also, I wake up with a cat just about ON my face.  I believe she may be trying to save my brain and attack the tentacles in the night.  But a lass, they appear to be quite wiley, as I seem to be continuing to lose brain function.

Case in point, I went into the kitchen just 5 minutes ago to get something.  What did I go in there for?  I don’t know, seriously I have no idea.  If you know, please tell me.  FOR GOD’S SAKE HELP ME!  

I’m afraid to speak of this, fore the pod may find out and it could just finish me off instead of slowly sucking my brains out through my ear.  Whenever my little dastard wakes up with his cute little sleepy face and messy curly hair, I hug him and smooch his neck.  He thinks it’s because it tickles him and I’m doing it to bug him in the morning when he’s grouchiest, but no!  I am actually looking into his ear to see if I can see the damn thing without it suspecting anything. However, since the pod is 19 years old, it doesn’t clean it’s ears very often.  I think it’s to hide the creature within.  But, as I said.  I say nothing.

One day, I fear that I won’t be able to say anything at all, because I won’t remember how to talk!  I mean it’s going fast… which isn’t very comforting, I thought there were more brains there then apparently were.  First it was little things, car keys, “To Go” mug of coffee on the counter, my lunch in the fridge.  Now I live in a 1 story 5 room duplex, and I can’t find entire pairs of shoes, my purse, at least 1 of the 3 pairs of glasses I own!  I mean, the pod has 1 and 1/2 of the rooms…

So, to all of you reading this… I am going down like the Titanic SAVE ME… SAVE ME BEFORE THE POD FINISHES DINNER!!!!  

Because all of things I’ve lost, misplaced, and can’t remember… it’s my mind I’d like to find the most.