I lie awake and wonder… what has happened to my black flip flops? Didn’t I used to know things like that? I could find little dastard’s ear buds for his iPod in a 2 story 9 room house(not bedrooms, just 9 rooms). I had that mom x-ray vision or at least the ability to remember where he would go in the house and say, “Hang on a minute and I’ll find them.” Bada Boom Bada Bang… ear buds!
I truly believe that my child has sucked out my brain juice… when the pod person entered his body, I think it’s little tentacles stretch out of his ear during the night and into my ear to feed. I wouldn’t know, the child always falls asleep with his T.V. on so there is always noise. Also, I wake up with a cat just about ON my face. I believe she may be trying to save my brain and attack the tentacles in the night. But a lass, they appear to be quite wiley, as I seem to be continuing to lose brain function.
Case in point, I went into the kitchen just 5 minutes ago to get something. What did I go in there for? I don’t know, seriously I have no idea. If you know, please tell me. FOR GOD’S SAKE HELP ME!
I’m afraid to speak of this, fore the pod may find out and it could just finish me off instead of slowly sucking my brains out through my ear. Whenever my little dastard wakes up with his cute little sleepy face and messy curly hair, I hug him and smooch his neck. He thinks it’s because it tickles him and I’m doing it to bug him in the morning when he’s grouchiest, but no! I am actually looking into his ear to see if I can see the damn thing without it suspecting anything. However, since the pod is 19 years old, it doesn’t clean it’s ears very often. I think it’s to hide the creature within. But, as I said. I say nothing.
One day, I fear that I won’t be able to say anything at all, because I won’t remember how to talk! I mean it’s going fast… which isn’t very comforting, I thought there were more brains there then apparently were. First it was little things, car keys, “To Go” mug of coffee on the counter, my lunch in the fridge. Now I live in a 1 story 5 room duplex, and I can’t find entire pairs of shoes, my purse, at least 1 of the 3 pairs of glasses I own! I mean, the pod has 1 and 1/2 of the rooms…
So, to all of you reading this… I am going down like the Titanic SAVE ME… SAVE ME BEFORE THE POD FINISHES DINNER!!!!