So… I was looking back on my younger, thinner years. Oh the pain and pathos I thought I had then. What I wouldn’t give to know then what I know now. To give you a little insight into the thought process of a young, high and mighty, lunatic, I give you a bit of old writing. I think you will see that I have been insane since conception… you should see my baby picture! It looked like I was plotting to take over the world as soon as I entered it!! So, for your reading enjoyment… lunacy(as if I haven’t given you a lot of that already). Here I go:
It used to be, “I’m trying to find myself”… roll your eyes and drink a beer. The thrill was in the chase, the looking and seeking. Comforted in the knowledge that the prospect of actually locating oneself was slim to none. Wasting days going to class then on to yet another meaningless job… to work for tips, to buy a beer. Ah, the pursuit of knowledge for $2.75 a glass, sitting next to some pain in the ass with nary an intelligible word to say. Oh, raise a toast to the good ole’ days… when were they exactly? Wondering when all your friends became pompous import drinking weenies. Westphalia can you believe it? They are taking the “phalias” to Montana. Get this, to “find themselves”… Oh aren’t your parents proud. How old are we again? Old enough that we’ve seen the end of the Grateful Dead and the beginning of Phish… and music disappearing like “phalias” in the horizon. Those who haven’t “found” themselves still looking for Jerry… in the Land beyond time, or wearing pig tales or wigs(to cover the grey) with glow sticks in hand trying to keep up. With what? These XTC popping pacifier TV babies. Remember when XTC was an 80’s alternative band? I do. I don’t belong in rooms full of children burning their minds and rubbing their bodies with NO idea what comes next… CAUSE I KNOW!!! I know what’s behind door number 1, and I know how not to step in number 2. I know dreams are not wishes, they are hard-earned attainable goals. I know that if I “had it”, I haven’t “lost it”, just put it away. Today I try to “find” a real man or the perfect pair of shoes, or maybe just my keys. But, I don’t need a “phalias”, Jerry, wigs, or some pseudo regurgitation of Nietzsche. because I am completely void of independent thought because I lost my mind one day and spent the rest of my life trying to “find it” somewhere else. I’m not lost, no need to be found I’m right here can’t you see me???
And there you have it… the ravings of a lunatic mom.
Kisses and warm fuzzies.