People wonder how I get through the day; between my disability, my family going into the hospital one at a time every week for some kind of emergency surgery or another, my son choosing the road less intelligent… etc. Well, let me tell you. I am insane. My Super Mom exterior consists of “dart” proof material, nasty word deflection, bad energy ray zapper, and Lamotrigine tablet dispenser.
Then, there are always the animals… here we have Zion. No, he doesn’t look unhappy. Why? Because he’s a dog, he doesn’t care if you put hats or bunny ears on him as long as you are paying attention to him, no worries… He knows, after 11 years, mommy is coo-coo and it’s best to play along. Otherwise, mommy has a tendency to stomp around the house mumbling crazy nonsense to herself, at times in high voltage. Dressing up the dog, soothes the savage beast. I have not yet found a way to get the cat to allow me to put even a tiara on her. Below shows how Ezzie manages to escape Zion’s fate. For a bowling ball with legs, she is quite agile and wily and I am not. So, for now, she remains safe from “dress up Barbie” day. The other two are rescue cats and really very grateful, so they are next on the list. If I come out alive from attempt number one, I will be sure to share the results with you.
Next, we have coffee. Coffee, my friends is the nectar of the Gods, the fruit of heaven it’s self. Coffee has saved the lives of many a poor soul, within my family and without. Given enough quiet time with my warm cups of love, (being my one true indulgence… it is good coffee) I can take just about any bomb dropped after my morning of nirvana. However, one must not take for granted that just because it’s around 9:30am, that I have completed or even had my morning mug meditation time. There have been times in which I have awaken and found, to my shock and dismay, I don’t have any coffee left! But, I thought there was another bag in there… (earth starts to shake, I start turning green)…must make it… to… Earth Fare… Believe me when I say, the nice folks at Earth Fare do a hell of a lot of smiling when I come in at opening, pajamas on, hair mussed, slightly green, and grunting.
Lastly, we have art. Oh savior of the insane, or maybe the last vestige of expression accessible to people like myself(or any other “emotionally challenged” artists throughout history. Not comparing myself to van Gogh in talent by any means, just that creative people are usually mad as hatters). When you cannot seem to make a coherent sentence to save your life, you can always take something as simple as a box of crayons and the world makes sense again. Without art, even though I am not physically able to do what I once could, I believe I would be enjoying the peaceful bliss that accompanies an “Ice Pick” Lobotomy. Staring out the window drooling, with a perpetual grin and probably pondering something profound, like the purpose of having to use the toilet, especially when my pants were so much more convenient.
So, there you have it my friends… “Coping for The Crazy 101”. Please stay tuned for my next lecture series on; “Suppressing Homicidal Ideation Through the Creation of Voodoo Dolls”. Hehehe… and, “Thanks for stoppin’ by San Diego”.
Tales from a Tainted Super Mom 